Anniversary from Erin

12/14/08

I’m writing this on the day that would have been Mark’s and my first wedding anniversary. One year ago today, was one of the best days of my life. I’ve been struggling with how to deal with this day, one year later, and have now come to the realization that I have to celebrate. Celebrate the love that we shared, the child that we made and the magical time I had with the love of my life. I’ve chosen to spend the day getting a memorial tattoo to symbolize the pure love that I have for this man, even after his death. That love will never leave my heart, and the tattoo will serve as a constant reminder to me of how truly lucky I was to have Mark for 8 years.

With the holidays coming up, please be thankful for your family. Tell them how much you love them and hug extra often.

I found a piece that I want to share. I’m not sure where it comes from, as the author is unknown. I have it up on my bulletin board at work, and read it nearly every day.

Remembrance

You can shed tears that he is gone,
Or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left you.
Your heart can be empty because you can no longer see him, Or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live in yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him and only that he is gone,
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back, Or you can do what he'd want for you,
To Smile More, Love More, Laugh More and Go On.

A sign from Mark

I wanted to share a story of something that happened to me a couple of weeks ago. It’s a little long, so bear with me.

I was really low one day, and told Mark he needed to give me a sign that he was okay and happy. Now, I can be a little dense when it comes to seeing signs, and I reminded him of this. At first I said, “send me an eagle - there’s no way I could miss that!” Then I thought to myself, maybe that’s a little excessive. Okay, “send me a swallow!” (Swallows remind me of Mark. Sometimes when he was mowing the grass at our house, they would come swooping down and around him because of all of the bugs he would kick up with the mower). But then I thought, how am I going to notice one swallow? Again, changed my mind. “Send me a butterfly – but not one of those stupid little yellow ones, they’re all over the place – it has to be something special!” Of course I’m expecting something to come flying at me right away, but didn’t see anything. I figured after all of this discussion that Mark had probably stopped listening since I couldn’t make up my mind. He HATED that.

Anyway, the following week I was out on the deck with Vaughn. I happened to look up and notice some birds circling and dipping towards the house. It was really weird because, you guessed it, THEY WERE SWALLOWS. There had to have been 15-20 of them up there. I looked around at the neighbors, but it was just our house. They flew around up there for about 5 minutes and then left. Hmmm – thanks for the warm fuzzy Mark. Later that night, I was looking out the window and saw a yellow swallowtail butterfly flying amongst the hostas. Again – thanks baby. A couple of days later I was driving down Yankee Doodle Road and saw an eagle flying about 20 feet up. Of course I burst into tears, but what an awesome sight!

Now, those of you who know Mark, realize that to him, doing anything small is a waste of time. You do things BIG or you don’t do them at all. So instead of sending me one sign, he sent them all. He was just like that. He’d do anything in his power to make you happy, and he’s still doing it, Mark style. You just gotta love him!

Erin Jensen

The Movie 21, Mark and the ADD of a 5 year old boy!

You know, there's a movie out, now on DVD called 21. It's a story about some students from MIT who figured out a way to count cards in blackjack and took casinos in Vegas and Atlantic City for around $5,000,000. 

At about the same time this "crew" was working casinos, I learned to count cards. There was a man named Uston who developed this theory in the 70's. Not just any count but an even more sophisticated count than what the crew used at MIT. To give you an idea, the count went like this. Any 2's and 8's were given a value of +1. 3's, 4's, 6's and 7's were given a value of +2. 5's were given a value of +3. 9's were a minus 1 and 10's and face cards were a minus 3. At the end of each hand, you would then divide your total by the number of half decks remaining. What about the aces? Well, you would keep a separate count of aces by placing your feet in different directions on the bar at the table! HUH??

OK, , Mark and I loved to play blackjack. I found that counting cards was one of the most relaxing things I could do. I estimated that I counted in excess of 3,000 cards in a 5 hour session. Who's got time to think about problems when you're doing that. 

I told Mark about this idea of the BP (card counter) and the Gorilla Player (Mark). The card counter(s) would work on tables playing 10-25 dollars per hand. When the count would be in the players favor, I would use a hand or a hat signal Mark to come over to the table to play. Mark could play on the table as long as the count was in our favor. He wouldn't have to count cards. We had worked out a signal so he knew when the count went minus again. He'd get up and leave until the cards got good again.

Our best odds were maybe 2-3% per hand and Mark would play 100-500 per hand. With 6 players at the table that's 65 hands per hour.

So Mark would be playing around $20,000 per hour, and at 2% that's $400 per hour, or $2,000 for a 5 hour session, which is really a minimum amount of time to work that small advantage. 

If you're still reading this, here's the hook to the story. 

Mark had his own case of ADD. I don't know what it really was, but I knew I was in trouble when he got that little sparkle in the eye. 

See, while I was counting cards, Mark's only job was to keep the dealer and the pit boss busy so they wouldn't catch onto me counting. He could drink, make jokes with the other players, make fun of the dealer and just play basic strategy, I would take care of the rest. 

Well, you can't keep Mark on task for 5 hours, so about 3 hours in, he'd get bored! Oh no. He'd start making jokes about me. He'd start making me lose my place. We always had this running joke about Mpls and St. Paul. You can guess which side Mark was on, so he'd somehow get it out that I was from St. Paul and he was from Mpls. When he reversed our favorites, it allowed him to start slamming St. Paul in all kinds of disgusting ways, then I'd have to defend it. 

He didn't care anymore about making some money, he had to play around like the kid that he was. I know it's a long story, but I smiled most of the time I wrote this. 

I went back to Vegas for a lot of Rapport functions, but I really haven't played blackjack at all since Mark stopped going with me, it just never seemed the same. 

I'll be thinking of Mark A LOT this fall while out in the deer stands. So will a lot of other people.

Mark revisited

I was at a volunteer function for the Multi Housing Association Friday.
We were framing hundreds of pictures for the upcoming golf tournament next week.
There were a room full of people putting these things together and everyone was grabbing pictures out of piles on the desk. After about a half hour, nobody had grabbed ANY pictures out of the pile in front of me and I thought that was weird. Then I looked at the top picture. It was a picture of Mark and Andy Marchant at the golf tournament last year, both with big smiles leaning against the car that Andy's company was giving away for a hole in one. I told Mark last year to show up to the golf tournament to see old property manager friends even though he was still in the mortgage industry.
I was surprised and very happy he showed up and spent all day with us. Even though Andy, and a bunch of landscape salesmen were there to get leads for landscape jobs, all of us just stayed at the table and laughed with Mark the whole evening and never gave "landscape sales" another thought.
Then here's his picture sitting right in front of me a year later, missed by the other volunteers??

I thought about saving the photo for Erin, but I'm going to see if Andy or Chris happen to sit at the table with Mark's picture on it on August 13th. Chances are less than 300 to 1, but who knows! That would be really weird! I'm not telling Andy, but if he finds it, I'll take it out of the frame and scan it into the website!

Steve

Thoughts from Mary

From Mark’s Mother-in-law, Erin’s Mom, Vaughn’s Gran ….

I’d think about Mark every day even if I didn’t look at my beautiful kitchen floor, which he installed for Jim and me last fall. He did this without thought of payment (well, maybe a little lunch) just because he believed that you give your time and talent to family. It wasn’t an easy job but he never complained - at least to my face! Because I do see my floor, Marks’s face automatically appears in my mind and I talk to him about how much we miss him. I thank him for the love he gave Erin, and for being a funny, roughhouse, rambunctious dad to Vaughn. He put up with our goofy Christmas traditions and once I heard him laugh in spite of himself. Then, he began to participate by helping Erin make her Nah-Nah’s famous Swedish meatballs for Christmas Eve. He swept into our family easily and we will always love and remember him. As my eyes well up with tears writing this, it is testimony of the effect his brief stay has had on our lives. Thank you Mark for living long enough for us to love you and feel that love right back.


Mary

Dear Erin, my name is Joe and I was one of the volunteers from the bike ride that stopped to help Mark. As Kelly mentioned we did all we could to comfort Mark until he was air lifted to the hospital. In reading what you and Marks friends have said about him, and the fact that even in his death, he is able to help so many others, it is a testimony of what a great man Mark was. In keeping with Marks spirit, I have decided to sign up to be a donor. There is a very old legend that says when a loved one dies a new star is created in the heavens. I am sure that Marks star is one of the brightest. I am so sorry for your loss.

From Erin

I recently received a letter from Donor services, and wanted to let everyone know what Mark was able to contribute to others:

They were able to recover and place one kidney; the recipient was a married man with no children (yet). The kidney has allowed him to discontinue his 3 dialysis treatments per week, which have been going on for the last 2 1/2 years. He is a school counselor and a volunteer for the Red Cross. They say he is doing well, and they have high hopes that the kidney will take.

Two corneas were placed; one with a 27 year old woman and the other with an older man. Both had lost their eyesight due to an untreatable eye disease.

Two heart valves were placed and the recipients are doing well.

The bone contribution could improve the lives of up to 50 different people. They use them for bone grafts for reconstructive surgery to correct certain defects. The skin tissue goes towards grafts for people with extensive wounds or burns.

All in all, Mark could be helping hundreds of people lead improved lives. I hope that gives you all some comfort, I know it has for me.

Thank you all for your cards, thoughts, prayers, phone calls, visits - the list goes on and on. I can't thank you enough for the support - I never would have made it through the first three weeks without some of you! I will continue to update this as I hear news.

Please remember how Mark would want us all to live, and make the most of every day!

From Mark's Big Brother Mike

From Mark's Big Brother Mike...This is something I read from a book about birthdays I found in my wife's(sherri) desk...January 19th... Diplomats, writers, teachers, and lovers of the fine arts are born on this day. You have a kindly disposition, consideration and a desire to help others. Poetical, artistic, and affectionate, you are capable of entering into almost any profession or field and be successful...I am sure after you all reading this you will say "damm straight" that was Mark to the "T"

From Rob Robertson

Mark would stop by our office to see us almost daily for a few years. What I remember most about him is the constant smile he had on his face. It was like no one could wipe that smile off for anything. Always in a good mood and put you in a good mood when he showed up. He knew how to get us to tuck our troubles away permanently or only for a few moments. After his passing, it makes me think this is how I want to be remembered. Sometimes you don't know what you have lost until it's gone or what you had when it was here. He was a good man at a time when they are an extinct breed. Someone you could trust as a friend. I will always remember that permanent smile he had and I will endeavor to be more like him throughout my years left on this earth. Heaven is a better place now that he has entered. God bless Marcus as I used to call you that. And god bless your family. 

Tribute to Mark Wirkus, by Steve Hoogenakker

Hello, friends, family, Erin, Vaugn, Mark’s parents and siblings.
I have one announcement. Erin is putting together a legacy box, or a time capsule for Vaughn. One that can only be done by the people that are here. The purpose is to let Vaughn know what his dad was like. At some time, later in his life, when Erin deems it appropriate, she’ll bring out this box with short letters from us telling Vaughn what we remembered about Mark. Erin may decide to go through it when Vaughn is 10 or 15, but we have the opportunity to give him a priceless gift. I think Vaughn would be well served if we also let him know what his mom is like, and if you know them, his grandparents, but if you have just one sentence to say, please take a minute and write it out. I suppose if Vaughn is anything like his dad, we probably should’ve sprayed this with fire retardant, and maybe made it a little more indestructible.
I brought kleenex up here, now if you’re a tough guy, and you get a little misty eyed, you can use the following excuses. Landscapers, you’re simply evapotranspirating, Mortgage people, if you get misty eyed, you can say you just had a midday price increase and you lost 50 bps., 
Erin doesn’t want a sad memorial to Mark. She wants to hear the laughter that surrounded Mark’s life…, but I have one sad thing to say, then we’ll move on. After all, talking about human emotion and Mark’s inspiriation, while emotional, isn’t necessarily sad, it’s just the passionate part of life, the most important part of life.
This song came to mind when I heard of the accident. If we are to find some meaning in the passing of Mark, then maybe if just one of your relationships heal because of this day, then Mark’s death will mean something and this will improve the quality of your life, so think about your present family and friends that are still alive, Mother, Father, Sons, Daughters, friends.
Reba McEntire was riding at the top of success. Personally, however, her world would come crashing down. A plane carrying seven of McEntire's band members and her road manager crashed, killing all on board. McEntire was devastated. There was a minor controversy over her decision to perform on the Academy Awards a week after the crash. But she appeared on the show to dedicate a song to her fallen band members. During the performance, McEntire was visibly emotional, holding back tears. 
This hit, “If I Had Only Known” is a song written to her band. 
If I Had Only Known
Reba McIntyre

If I had only known
It was the last walk in the rain
I'd keep you out for hours in the storm
I would hold your hand
Like a lifeline to my heart
Underneath the thunder we'd be warm
If I had only known
It was our last walk in the rain

If I had only known
I'd never hear your voice again
I'd memorize each thing you ever said
And on those lonely nights
I could think of them once more
Keep your words alive inside my head
If I had only known
I'd never hear your voice again

You were the treasure in my hand
You were the one who always stood beside me
So unaware I foolishly believed
That you would always be there
But then there came a day
And I turned my head and you slipped away

If I had only known
It was my last night by your side
I'd pray a miracle would stop the dawn
And when you'd smile at me
I would look into your eyes
And make sure you knew my love
For you goes on and on
If I had only known
The love I would've shown
If I had only known
3 more lines – get ready to read. Unemotional for everyone else
Personally, I want to say that when we were driving home from standing up for Mark and Erin at their wedding, I told Teri, my wife, that it was the best day I had in the past few years, I was so happy that they were tying the knot. I will also say that today is the most important day I’ve had for quite a while, because I want to honor Mark the best that I can, Mark, like my wife and kids, always pushes me to be the best I can be. 
On behalf of all of us, I would like to thank Mark’s parent’s and family for making Mark the MAN he was. They did something right, though I don’t know what it was. We also acknowledge people like Erin, his brother and sister, Mary, Pete, Jim and Terry Liska, April, Mike and others who shaped Mark into the man that we loved. To these people we say: “Blessed are they, who leave good work behind. And who leave behind a life that is so worthy of respect” Thank You for Mark.
Mark was generous, Mark was a gentle giant, yet he was known as “the Hammer”, or as he liked to say it, the Velvet Hammer.
Mark was mischeivious without malice, as full of faults as a craggy rock. It’s said that if a personality is like a smooth stone, there’s nothing for us to attach to. It’s the rough edges and prodruding sharp points that endears us to someone and makes them someone we can relate to.
 Mark first and foremost has always been a kid
Mark and I had taken my son, Paul to the Bellagio in Las Vegas for Paul’s 21st birthday. Paul and I were walking through the Bellagio casino when we saw a large crowd of people gathered around what looked like a blackjack table. Inside the group, was Mark sitting alone at the table. Mark was playing a new game at the fanciest casino. He was playing WAR. You know, the kids game, where you keep flipping cards up and whoever has the highest card wins? Mark was playing $600 per hand. He was having a great time, and loved the attention.
Mark and I played semi-professional blackjack off and on for a couple of years. I did the card counting, usually 3,000 cards in a 5 hour session, and his only job was to drink, and keep the dealer and the pit bosses entertained and occupied so they wouldn’t catch on to what we were doing. The only problem was that as Mark drank, he got antsy, so he would start to make comments to the dealer about me, saying crazy conspiracy theories about the weird guy over at first base. Before I knew it the count was gone, and we were laughing so hard, we started losing all the money we had worked so hard to win.
We had a group of 6 people at a landscape convention. Mark had gotten into my brother’s hotel room by telling the housekeeping staff it was his room He took the queen size mattress out. he had stuffed the mattress into Mike’s shower, and not only stuffed it, but wedged it in so tight that Mike couldn’t get it out. Mike demanded that Mark get the mattress out and get fired on the spot. Mark wouldn’t go back down, but 3 of us did, and we couldn’t get the mattress out. It was amazing.
I love to travel and go to conventions. At some point, Mark had gotten hold of a Burger King paper crown that they gave out with Kids Meals. When Mark knew I was going to be gone for a few days, or if Mike was going to be gone for a few days, Mark would proudly put on the crown, walking around and saying, I’m KING while they’re gone, then be as obnoxious as he could. In the words of a famous radio host, Mark would run a “benevolent dictatorship”!
If Mark would’ve lived, he would’ve been the crazy uncle or the really cool grandpa.
When we were at a convention in Nashville, Mark and I drove to see my sister in Louisville. It was a rental car, and Mark wanted to drive. Just as we left Kentucky, a Tennessee state trooper caught Mark going down the hill at about 110. He didn’t catch up to us until we were most of the way up the next hill/mountain. He wrote out the ticket, but Mark didn’t seem bothered at all, I mean twice the legal speed limit. I didn’t understand it. As we pulled away from the trooper and just before wecrested the hill, while the trooper could still see us, Mark reached for the ticket, crumpled it up, and threw it high in the air on the highway. His only comment was he wasn’t planning on coming back to Tennessee anyway. He had too many other places to go and people to see.
Mark was legendary!
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Mark, the everlasting.
When Mark was designing landscapes, especially on some of the most prominent corporations in the twin cities, he wanted something that said “Mark Wirkus” to everyone who drove by. Mark decided to start suggesting Buckthorns to be planted in nearly every one of his jobs. It was a perfect Mark planting. 
It was invasive, it grew about 10 feet every year. You couldn’t get rid of it, and it had dark berries that birds relished, although the berries had a laxative in them, so the end result was a hundred birds leaving purple markings over every car forever. In 2000, Minnesota banned Buckthorn as a noxious weed, but some of Mark’s buckthorns live on, even at my last house, where he had them planted without telling me. The Buckthorn has since been classified as a noxious weed, it’s illegal to sell buckthorn here, but when you see it, have a chuckle, Mark’s legacy lives on.If they would have known Mark better, they would have classified it an “obnoxious” weed.
Mark the mysterious
I’ve thought long and hard about what made Mark so special. There was something truly different about Mark, something that drew people to him when they first met him, even though he was not always the loudest and most gregarious in a group. It could have been that deep laugh, it could have been that twinkle in the eye, it could’ve been that sarcastic wit, but I think when it’s all said and done, it came down to a sense of self. Mark knew who he was. Mark knew who he wanted to be, and Mark was comfortable in his own skin. That sense of self was pure honesty, and it came across to everyone he touched. Mark’s customers knew that Mark would tell them exactly what he thought. Sometimes, he told off customers in shocking ways that would surely lead to them cancelling our services, but that was rarely the outcome, more likely, he ended up with all of their business.
 In January, while Mark was looking for a new job, we saw Steve Sylvester of S and S, we walked over and talked to him. Mark spent about 1 minute talking to him, and finished off with some sort of funny comment that sounded to me like an insult. I held my shaking head in my hands and said what did you do? Mark said Steve’s tough, he can handle it. Mark, went back later of course and Steve hired him after what seemed to be a bad start to getting reacquainted led to him getting the job. How does he do it?
paying his respects today is Steve Sylvester
My brother had fired Mark at least 6 times, he was so frustrated with Mark’s antics. Mark was insubordinate, difficult and questioned authority, Mark got immediately hired back by either Mike or me. How he got us to do that over and over again is a mystery. You could also play with Mark. If you EVER wanted NOT to see him, just call a meeting!, any meeting, the more important, the more likely he was to disappear for a day or so! 
Mark was the fastest snowplow operator in the country. If there were any emergency areas, Mark would grab whatever truck he could find and peel out of the parking lot. He would come back with an amazing amount of work done, then the inevitable. The walk from Gary. Steve, you have to see this, if you let this guy into one of my trucks again, I quit. The truck would come back, the plow half off, the axles bent, the rear bumper at a 45 degree angle, the transmission slipping. I’m sure there were chunks of sod thrown up into the windshield wipers. I think Gary quit 3 or 4 times, yet here is Gary paying respects to Mark. Another mystery. 
Mark, my son- in law. 
One of my wife’s most endearing stories that tells of kids attraction to Mark happened in Minneapolis. My wonderful daughter, Kirsten was 7 years old at the time, Mark was 29. Kirsten was following Mark around saying Mark, what do you want for Christmas? Mark said nothing and walked on, undeterred, Kirsten kept following Mark, saying a little louder, Mark WHAT do you want for Christmas? Mark said I don’t want anything!, Kirsten kept it up, saying again, MARK, WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS?, Mark again said, Nothing Kirsten, Then Kirsten said, But you don’t understand Mark, I LOVE YOU! Mark walked into my wife’s office and said “you need to take your daughter back now”
Mark had that effect on kids. Two of the first adult males I informed about Mark’s condition both said “that can’t happen, he’s just a big bear, teddy bear of a guy” If it came across to adults, how much more did children see it. When young kids were around, they saw some neon sign over his head that said “HOG PILE” 
Mark the retired thousandaire
We met Mark when he was 26. One of our first trips was to Treasure Island with Rick Anderson. We drove an extended cab S-10 with 1 12” jump seat where you sat sideways in the back. Rick had said something about saving up $500,000 and retiring. Mark from the back seat said $500,000? If I had $40,000, I’d retire, buy a payloader and 5 acres of land, and move piles of dirt all day, I’d make tall piles, short and fat piles, ramps, and even make piles that looked like different animals. I said OK, so what do you do when you’re done making the piles? I’ll take the dirt and move it into new piles.
Mark the friend
The friendship of two men is a nonsentimental, elusive kind of thing, but it can cut very deep. For each of us there were little but important things that were ours alone, and a part of us died with Mark. the world will never seem exactly the same without him; I will cherish the moments we spent together, and he will always remain important to me. I will draw upon him in the future. Because Mark once existed, I will never be quite the same.
Mark – the fearless?
As we think about Mark, there was NOTHING Mark was afraid of. He wasn’t afraid of death, of failure, of success, and he wasn’t afraid of life, he lived life as fast as he could. He rolled my snowmobiles, we traded our motorcycles for a few minutes and as we headed south on 77 over the river, he disappeared from my site. When I caught up with him 5 minutes later, he said hey, your bike goes 115 mph. Mark was always in a hurry to live life. So there was NOTHING he was afraid of? Or was there? 
There were 2 things, and only 2 things that at one time, Mark was terrified of. If you know how strong Mark was, then you can imagine an admission like this one was difficult for him to say. Mark would tell us, he was afraid he would be a bad husband, self absorbed, unable to be the perfect husband he wanted to be, unworthy of Erin. He loved Erin deeply. 
He also said he really didn’t think he’d be a good dad. He didn’t have it in him. He didn’t believe he could connect with a kid, didn’t know what to do. How do you know you’ll love someone you’ve never met?? I used to tell him what we told our kids when our parenting skills were being called into question.” You know, when you came out, there wasn’t a user manual in a ziploc bag that came out with you when you were born”, we’re doing the best we can.
Was Mark a good husband? A good dad? Did he make the connection? Could he love someone he hadn’t seen? 
So it’s no surprise that when we went to Erins a week ago and saw these pictures in their living room I couldn’t stop thinking about them. These hit me like a ton of bricks:
Was Mark able to be the great dad? Yes, here it is, for all the world to see, the eye connection, the open smile on Vaughn’s face, the playfulness, the love. Not only did Mark get it, and lived it, I believe he knew it, and for the two most important questions in his life, did he have enough love for Erin and Vaughn, in his heart when he left us, he knew peace.
Mark, you inspired me, you inspired us, because of you, all our lives will never be the same. There is a hole in my heart for you, a hole I want to keep, because I don’t want to replace it with anyone or anything else. 

Your friend forever, 

Steve Hoogenakker

Vaughn's legacy

We need everyone’s help in putting together a bunch of letters for Vaughn. We’re putting them into a box (time capsule). They can be short or long about what Vaughn’s dad was like. Erin can then give them to Vaughn when he gets to one of those tough ages like 12-14. If you could pass the word around and write something about Mark, and even Erin, it’ll be something priceless. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, you could even just write encouragements that might help Vaughn and Erin get through tough times, and it’ll be sealed in the box until Erin decides it’s time. You’ll be remembered for a long time for helping a deserving child get through life!

If you can bring one to the ceremony, great, we'll have the box there, if you'd like to write one later, please do so and mail to 

Erin Wirkus

2335 Dodd Rd
Mendota Hts. MN 55120

On behalf of Vaughn and Erin, thank you for your time.

Mark's Obituary notice - Star Tribune

Wirkus, Mark C. View/Sign Guest Book


Wirkus, Mark C. A tragic motorcycle accident claimed the life of Mark Christian Wirkus on Wednesday, July 2, 2008. Mark was born on January 19, 1967 in St. Paul, MN. He will be loved and forever missed by his wife, Erin; his son, Vaughn; parents, Helmut & Brigitte Wirkus; sister, Sabine Anderson; brother, Michael Wirkus and 3 nieces, Samantha, Kayla and Lindsey. Mark was a free spirit and loved riding, hunting and spending time with his family. He was an excellent cook and avid outdoorsman. This tragic loss of a deeply loved husband, father, son, brother and friend will be felt by those who loved him for many years to come. A memorial service will be at held at 7:00 p.m. on Monday, July 14th at First Presbyterian Church, 535 20th Ave N, S. St. Paul, MN 55075, visitation 1 hour prior to service. 
Published in the Star Tribune on 7/11/2008 
Notice • Guest Book • Flowers • Charities 

I am eternally grateful to Mark for what he offered to me as a mentor, co-worker and most importantly, as a friend over the last 12 years. He was always his own man, never afraid to say what was on his mind, whether you wanted to hear it or not. Mark blazed his own trail--the one less travelled--because that was the only way he knew how to LIVE, and because he could. I felt that some times he was misunderstood as a person because of his strong persona, but as one can see with these posts, he had a heart of gold and would go out of his way for his family, friends and clients. I think that is why Mark was so appealling to so many people, he was this wonderful dichotomy of strength and sincerity; this is what I will miss most about my dear friend.

This tragedy has brought to light many things in my own life as it may have in yours. We need not live for yesterday or tomorrow, but today. The here and now is how you establish a lasting footprint. That's how Mark lived.

My sympathies to all, but especially to Erin and Vaughn. We are available to help in any way, shape or form, please just let us know what we can do.


With Our Love,

Dustin, Tara & The Halverson Family

Erin,My husband, Ken Stark, is a long time friend of Mark's as well as Mark being the Godfather to my step daughter. I only met Mark a few times, but I know my husband loved him very much. Our prayers are with you and your family as you go through the process of grieving and remembering. From hearing the "guys" talk, it was obvious to them how in love with you and his new family Mark is. I say IS, because he still IS, and always will be. We are sorry for your loss, for you, your child and his loved ones. You are in our thoughts and prayers. The LeMoine-Stark Family,Ken & Gypsi, Alexandra, Cheyenne, Bobbe, Ben, Dharma

Mark's memorial service

I finally got the date for the memorial service – it will be on Monday, July 14th at 7:00 pm. There will be an hour before the service and time after to look at pictures and talk. I will also be placing an obituary in this Sunday’s paper. I hope all of you can be there, and please pass the information on to everyone I missed. Thank you for your kind words and support. Mark and I have a great network of friends, and I appreciate you all. Please see church info below:
 
First Presbyterian Church
535 20th Ave N
S. St. Paul, MN 55075
 
Visitation 6:00-7:00 p.m.
Service 7:00-7:45 p.m.
Coffee & Mark stories 8:00 til they kick us out

We have been blessed to have the opportunity to have Mark in our life. Mark was an wonderful friend, person, co-worker, and family man. Like many, he was an influential role model for me working in the landscape industry, always encouraging and teaching those around him. I am thankful for the many memories I have had with Mark over the years and he is missed.Erin-You are missed too and I am not speaking of the endless hours of work. Its you that we miss, and in our little family here we look forward to assisting you during this time of healing. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and Vaughn, know that we are here for you. Love John, Jennifer, Seth

Erin's Address

I just wanted to give everyone Erin's address to mail cards:

2355 Dodd Road

Mendota Heights, MN 55120

I am sitting here stunned to learn that Mark is no longer with us. I owned Midwest Mortgage and met Mark as a rep for AMNET. Even though we have both moved on to different things we still talked and I would like to let Marks wife know that I am deeply sorry for her loss. I loved Mark as a friend and will miss talking to him and hearing him laugh his little chuckle that everyone has to know if you knew Mark because he was just the kind of guy who laughed and could make your day better just talking to him. I am not surprised to learn that he was a donor as that is consistent with what I knew of how he lived. I will pray for his family to have strength and peace and to get through this very difficult time. I will miss you Mark and everyone who knew you has lost a great friend.

Joe Bacigalupo(C) 612-237-9868

Mark was a good man, lived a good life and because of the organ donations his death had meaning. I hope any of us can say that about ourselves someday.

Bob Carver

Here I sit, trying to understand what is happening. A man I have known for over 15 years has had a terrible accident. This man is a great husband, father and friend. Many of you know, Mark took me under his wing many years ago, "showed me the ropes" of the landscape business. He was my mentor, my role model, good or bad. Mark, whether you know it or not, you helped create the man I am today. I am sorry that I never told you how grateful I am for that. I can sit and look back and wonder where I would be without Mark, that is how influential he has been and will continue to be in my life. I am sorry that my children never got to know you. Mark, I love you and will miss you dearly!

With heavy hearts,
Andy, Lisa, Sydney, and Drew Marchant

Sunday, July 6th

Hi everyone, 

Teri and I got a chance to see Erin and Vaughn as well as Jim and Mary yesterday. 

We didn't get to see Vaughn very long, he was really tired. Erin looked as good as could be expected. Mary's going to stay with Erin for awhile.

Erin hadn't had a chance to check this blog yesterday, but she was planning on looking at it, so 

if you want to leave a message, feel free to leave one here, or email any message to Teribabbitt@aol.com and Teri will put it on the site. 

No news of a memorial service yet, except that Erin would like one, and we've had a number of people asking for one. Erin's working on it now. Hope to know more in the next day or two. 

Take Care, 

Steve Hoogenakker and Teri Hoogenakker.

Erin, Vaughn and family;Tommy, Evan and I are in such sorrow to hear of your loss. We unfortunetly never got a chance to really meet Mark or spend time with him. We know that he was a wonderful man and devouted husband and father and that he will be greatly missed by all. We're sure that you all have a lot to deal with and to try to make sense of. So unfair to have someone close taken away from you. We only hope as times goes on the heartache will disapate. We all are in mourning and we have you in our thoughts and prayers.Take care of yourselves,Love Angela, Tommy and Evan Butera

I am VERY saddened by the loss today. Erin, Vaughn and family have lost a great Man, Husband and Father… Our thoughts and prayers go out to your family and friends. Anything we can do to help we will.

With love,

Ryan & Danielle McDougall

Mark's Status July 2nd, 3:00 PM

It’s with a heavy heart that I tell you that Mark will not make it back to us.
His head injuries could not be overcome.
While he’s still alive because of hospital machines, he doesn’t have any brain functions left because of the swelling.
Mark, being the giving person he is, is an organ donor, and Erin is bravely working with donor services so Mark can maybe save the lives of a few others. How she can bear this, I don’t know.
At this time, there’s no reason for anyone to go down to New Mexico.
A tragedy like this for a husband and father, someone so young and strong is beyond words. We’ll pass on any news of a service when it becomes available.

The quality of Mark’s life is reflected by the quality of the people in his life, and the people in his life were pretty damn good.

If anyone needs anything, please contact Steve or Teri and we’ll help in anyway we can.

Steve and Teri Hoogenakker
Steve@Landscape.Pro

763-213-2410


Reba McEntire was riding at the top of success. Personally, however, her world would come crashing down. A plane carrying seven of McEntire's band members and her road manager crashed, killing all on board. McEntire was devastated. There was a minor controversy over her decision to perform on the Academy Awards a week after the crash. But she appeared on the show to dedicate a song to her fallen band members. During the performance, McEntire was visibly emotional, holding back tears. She had been known to refer to them as her "Crazy Eight." Ultimately, she earned the respect and affection of her peers for her decision and her stoic toughness and perseverance.

She dedicated her next album, For My Broken Heart, to them when it was released in October. The disc was another hit, going gold and platinum simultaneously shortly after its release and eventually selling four million copies. This hit, “If I Had Only Known” is a song written to her band. You should be able to click on the song to listen to it. The words are below.
If any of you have gone to Rapport PC, when you listen to the song, you’ll remember it.

If I Had Only Known
Reba McIntyre

If I had only known
It was the last walk in the rain
I'd keep you out for hours in the storm
I would hold your hand
Like a lifeline to my heart
Underneath the thunder we'd be warm
If I had only known
It was our last walk in the rain

If I had only known
I'd never hear your voice again
I'd memorize each thing you ever said
And on those lonely nights
I could think of them once more
Keep your words alive inside my head
If I had only known
I'd never hear your voice again

You were the treasure in my hand
You were the one who always stood beside me
So unaware I foolishly believed
That you would always be there
But then there came a day
And I turned my head and you slipped away

If I had only known
It was my last night by your side
I'd pray a miracle would stop the dawn
And when you'd smile at me
I would look into your eyes
And make sure you knew my love
For you goes on and on
If I had only known
If I had only known
The love I would've shown
If I had only known

Mark and Erin...when I heard the news my heart ached for your family. It sounds so very familiar with what our family is going through right now. Erin, I am not sure if you were aware that my husband Chad was in a tragic motorcycle accident as well 3 weeks ago. Sadly, it has left him paralyzed from the chest down BUT he has no head injuries and has healed REMARKABLY well in the past 3 weeks. Your strength and your little boy will give Mark the strength to fight through this and on to a full recovery. I wish I could be there to hold you and tell you the beginning days may seem very long, but each day that goes past is one more day the body has had to heal. TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR SON and get outside. Take a little walk....lay in the grass. Mark needs your strength the most and if I learned anything through this it is to take care of me so I can provide Chad what he needs. I know it will be only be a matter of time before he opens his eyes to see his beautiful wife and his gorgeouos little boy. My family will add you and your family into our prayers each night. And for better thoughts, hopefully someday Mark and Chad will be able to ride again. Stay positive...and lean on those that offer the help.Sharmain Tesmer

As some of you may have heard, Mark was in a motorcycle accident in Colorado. He hit a deer, was thrown from the bike and has serious head trauma. He was airlifted to San Juan Regional Hospital in New Mexico, and luckily this hospital houses 3 of the 5 neurosurgeons in NM. They've been working around the clock to try and stop his brain from swelling and keeping his vitals in check. They tell me that if the swelling would go down, he'd have a chance of coming out of the coma. Unfortunately, it seems to be getting worse, and the pressure is causing more tissue damage. Even if he pulls through, he won't be the same Mark we all know. So, it's not looking very good at this point, and the doctors think we need to look at taking him off life support today or tomorrow. I should know more after this morning, once I meet with the doctors again.I know some of you have been trying to call, and I'm so sorry I haven't called back. It's been a tough few days, and I'm just trying to wrap my mind around the whole thing. I have Vaughn and my dad with me, and that is helping a lot. I'd really appreciate it if you could pass the news on to whoever you think would like to know. I love you all. Erin

Mark and Family, my heart goes to you. I pray that you will have a speedy recovery and come back to MN safely. Take care and stay strong.
Thanks for your business!Angie D'AngeloCell: 763-234-9888

Dear Mark, Erin & Vaughn
We all are so saddened by the accident. Mark you are a GREAT guy and an even better employee/friend. Today at our morning employee meeting all 70+ S&S employees bowed their heads in prayer for your full recovery. We all believe that you will pull through this.
Erin & Vaughn please know that Mark has been a very valuable asset to the growth of our lawn care division, he has taught all of us the old fashion way of Great Customer service. We all miss him. You both have a lot to be proud of in him. Not only is he a great person, friend, employee, & co-worker the one thing that he does the best is always put his family first in his life. We have been praying since we found out, to grant Mark the strength to pull through this thing, and with Gods good grace we continue to believe he will…

Steve & Debbie Sylvester

Mark,

You are a strong man hang in there! May God surround you with a host of Angels to give you strength and courage. I pray for your healing and quick recovery. Gods Peace to you, your wife and son!
Gina M.Gartner Dominium Management Services

Hang in there Mark. The marketing crew at Dominium is praying for a speedy recovery for you and plenty of strength for your family.
-Janet Rosseth 

Mark get well soon, there are many people that love you and care for you, may God bless you and your family Dan 



Posted by Dan Casey to Mark Wirkus at July 1, 2008 8:49 PM 

testing

Mark Wirkus's Accident

This is a forum to help provide information to all of the people asking about Mark's condition. 

You can imagine the amount of stuff that Erin has going on, and everyone wants to know exactly what's going on, but Erin doesn't have time to explain the situation over and over again. 

You are welcome to post any messages on this blog, please keep them tasteful. We're hoping Mark will pull out of this, but even if he does, it may be a tough road back!

TO POST A MESSAGE, JUST EMAIL YOUR MESSAGE TO TERIBABBITT@AOL.COM, and TERI WILL POST IT ONLINE JUST AS YOU TYPED IT!

Here's what we think we know:

Saturday or Sunday at around 11:00 am, Mark W and Mark Angell were riding their motorcycles through the mountains in southern Colorado. They passed a group of motorcycles going up a big hill and had just crested the hill. Mark Angell was in front with Mark W just behind. 

As they were coming down the hill or mountain, Mark Angell let off the gas a little bit and didn't see anything. Somehow a deer came out from the side of the road and was able to run behind Mark Angell's bike and run right in front of Mark W's bike. Mark hit it straight on. I'll leave the details out. 

The Mark's were lucky in that the accident happened on top of a hill, because the phones wouldn't work in the bottom of the hills, so Mark A was able to call for help. Right after the accident, a medical truck, a nurse and an EMT happened to be driving the road and were able to help before an ambulance arrived. 

They think Mark suffered a broken hip, collarbone and maybe an arm. The big problem is the brain swelling.(Mark wasn't wearing a helmet). They had to relieve pressure in the skull, and can't tell anything until the swelling goes down. That's why we don't anything for sure. 

They think they'll know a lot more by midday on Wednesday, July 2nd. 

Erin is down there with Vaughn, her dad, Pete, who is a surgeon and has been an invaluable help, Mark's sister, and I believe Mark Angell is still there.

Mark's family is on their way down there, and I am planning on going down on Thursday.

They are at San Juan regional hospital in Farmington, New Mexico. There is an email service at 

the hospital I believe here: http://www.sanjuanregional.com/index.cfm/fa/category.display/category_id/359/emailPatient.cfm

If you leave an email, a volunteer will run it up to the room. The nearest airport is Durango Colorado.

Please leave your posts online, and if you want more information, please call Teri Hoogenakker at 763-213-2412