Anniversary from Erin

12/14/08

I’m writing this on the day that would have been Mark’s and my first wedding anniversary. One year ago today, was one of the best days of my life. I’ve been struggling with how to deal with this day, one year later, and have now come to the realization that I have to celebrate. Celebrate the love that we shared, the child that we made and the magical time I had with the love of my life. I’ve chosen to spend the day getting a memorial tattoo to symbolize the pure love that I have for this man, even after his death. That love will never leave my heart, and the tattoo will serve as a constant reminder to me of how truly lucky I was to have Mark for 8 years.

With the holidays coming up, please be thankful for your family. Tell them how much you love them and hug extra often.

I found a piece that I want to share. I’m not sure where it comes from, as the author is unknown. I have it up on my bulletin board at work, and read it nearly every day.

Remembrance

You can shed tears that he is gone,
Or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left you.
Your heart can be empty because you can no longer see him, Or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live in yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him and only that he is gone,
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back, Or you can do what he'd want for you,
To Smile More, Love More, Laugh More and Go On.

A sign from Mark

I wanted to share a story of something that happened to me a couple of weeks ago. It’s a little long, so bear with me.

I was really low one day, and told Mark he needed to give me a sign that he was okay and happy. Now, I can be a little dense when it comes to seeing signs, and I reminded him of this. At first I said, “send me an eagle - there’s no way I could miss that!” Then I thought to myself, maybe that’s a little excessive. Okay, “send me a swallow!” (Swallows remind me of Mark. Sometimes when he was mowing the grass at our house, they would come swooping down and around him because of all of the bugs he would kick up with the mower). But then I thought, how am I going to notice one swallow? Again, changed my mind. “Send me a butterfly – but not one of those stupid little yellow ones, they’re all over the place – it has to be something special!” Of course I’m expecting something to come flying at me right away, but didn’t see anything. I figured after all of this discussion that Mark had probably stopped listening since I couldn’t make up my mind. He HATED that.

Anyway, the following week I was out on the deck with Vaughn. I happened to look up and notice some birds circling and dipping towards the house. It was really weird because, you guessed it, THEY WERE SWALLOWS. There had to have been 15-20 of them up there. I looked around at the neighbors, but it was just our house. They flew around up there for about 5 minutes and then left. Hmmm – thanks for the warm fuzzy Mark. Later that night, I was looking out the window and saw a yellow swallowtail butterfly flying amongst the hostas. Again – thanks baby. A couple of days later I was driving down Yankee Doodle Road and saw an eagle flying about 20 feet up. Of course I burst into tears, but what an awesome sight!

Now, those of you who know Mark, realize that to him, doing anything small is a waste of time. You do things BIG or you don’t do them at all. So instead of sending me one sign, he sent them all. He was just like that. He’d do anything in his power to make you happy, and he’s still doing it, Mark style. You just gotta love him!

Erin Jensen

The Movie 21, Mark and the ADD of a 5 year old boy!

You know, there's a movie out, now on DVD called 21. It's a story about some students from MIT who figured out a way to count cards in blackjack and took casinos in Vegas and Atlantic City for around $5,000,000. 

At about the same time this "crew" was working casinos, I learned to count cards. There was a man named Uston who developed this theory in the 70's. Not just any count but an even more sophisticated count than what the crew used at MIT. To give you an idea, the count went like this. Any 2's and 8's were given a value of +1. 3's, 4's, 6's and 7's were given a value of +2. 5's were given a value of +3. 9's were a minus 1 and 10's and face cards were a minus 3. At the end of each hand, you would then divide your total by the number of half decks remaining. What about the aces? Well, you would keep a separate count of aces by placing your feet in different directions on the bar at the table! HUH??

OK, , Mark and I loved to play blackjack. I found that counting cards was one of the most relaxing things I could do. I estimated that I counted in excess of 3,000 cards in a 5 hour session. Who's got time to think about problems when you're doing that. 

I told Mark about this idea of the BP (card counter) and the Gorilla Player (Mark). The card counter(s) would work on tables playing 10-25 dollars per hand. When the count would be in the players favor, I would use a hand or a hat signal Mark to come over to the table to play. Mark could play on the table as long as the count was in our favor. He wouldn't have to count cards. We had worked out a signal so he knew when the count went minus again. He'd get up and leave until the cards got good again.

Our best odds were maybe 2-3% per hand and Mark would play 100-500 per hand. With 6 players at the table that's 65 hands per hour.

So Mark would be playing around $20,000 per hour, and at 2% that's $400 per hour, or $2,000 for a 5 hour session, which is really a minimum amount of time to work that small advantage. 

If you're still reading this, here's the hook to the story. 

Mark had his own case of ADD. I don't know what it really was, but I knew I was in trouble when he got that little sparkle in the eye. 

See, while I was counting cards, Mark's only job was to keep the dealer and the pit boss busy so they wouldn't catch onto me counting. He could drink, make jokes with the other players, make fun of the dealer and just play basic strategy, I would take care of the rest. 

Well, you can't keep Mark on task for 5 hours, so about 3 hours in, he'd get bored! Oh no. He'd start making jokes about me. He'd start making me lose my place. We always had this running joke about Mpls and St. Paul. You can guess which side Mark was on, so he'd somehow get it out that I was from St. Paul and he was from Mpls. When he reversed our favorites, it allowed him to start slamming St. Paul in all kinds of disgusting ways, then I'd have to defend it. 

He didn't care anymore about making some money, he had to play around like the kid that he was. I know it's a long story, but I smiled most of the time I wrote this. 

I went back to Vegas for a lot of Rapport functions, but I really haven't played blackjack at all since Mark stopped going with me, it just never seemed the same. 

I'll be thinking of Mark A LOT this fall while out in the deer stands. So will a lot of other people.

Mark revisited

I was at a volunteer function for the Multi Housing Association Friday.
We were framing hundreds of pictures for the upcoming golf tournament next week.
There were a room full of people putting these things together and everyone was grabbing pictures out of piles on the desk. After about a half hour, nobody had grabbed ANY pictures out of the pile in front of me and I thought that was weird. Then I looked at the top picture. It was a picture of Mark and Andy Marchant at the golf tournament last year, both with big smiles leaning against the car that Andy's company was giving away for a hole in one. I told Mark last year to show up to the golf tournament to see old property manager friends even though he was still in the mortgage industry.
I was surprised and very happy he showed up and spent all day with us. Even though Andy, and a bunch of landscape salesmen were there to get leads for landscape jobs, all of us just stayed at the table and laughed with Mark the whole evening and never gave "landscape sales" another thought.
Then here's his picture sitting right in front of me a year later, missed by the other volunteers??

I thought about saving the photo for Erin, but I'm going to see if Andy or Chris happen to sit at the table with Mark's picture on it on August 13th. Chances are less than 300 to 1, but who knows! That would be really weird! I'm not telling Andy, but if he finds it, I'll take it out of the frame and scan it into the website!

Steve

Thoughts from Mary

From Mark’s Mother-in-law, Erin’s Mom, Vaughn’s Gran ….

I’d think about Mark every day even if I didn’t look at my beautiful kitchen floor, which he installed for Jim and me last fall. He did this without thought of payment (well, maybe a little lunch) just because he believed that you give your time and talent to family. It wasn’t an easy job but he never complained - at least to my face! Because I do see my floor, Marks’s face automatically appears in my mind and I talk to him about how much we miss him. I thank him for the love he gave Erin, and for being a funny, roughhouse, rambunctious dad to Vaughn. He put up with our goofy Christmas traditions and once I heard him laugh in spite of himself. Then, he began to participate by helping Erin make her Nah-Nah’s famous Swedish meatballs for Christmas Eve. He swept into our family easily and we will always love and remember him. As my eyes well up with tears writing this, it is testimony of the effect his brief stay has had on our lives. Thank you Mark for living long enough for us to love you and feel that love right back.


Mary

Dear Erin, my name is Joe and I was one of the volunteers from the bike ride that stopped to help Mark. As Kelly mentioned we did all we could to comfort Mark until he was air lifted to the hospital. In reading what you and Marks friends have said about him, and the fact that even in his death, he is able to help so many others, it is a testimony of what a great man Mark was. In keeping with Marks spirit, I have decided to sign up to be a donor. There is a very old legend that says when a loved one dies a new star is created in the heavens. I am sure that Marks star is one of the brightest. I am so sorry for your loss.

From Erin

I recently received a letter from Donor services, and wanted to let everyone know what Mark was able to contribute to others:

They were able to recover and place one kidney; the recipient was a married man with no children (yet). The kidney has allowed him to discontinue his 3 dialysis treatments per week, which have been going on for the last 2 1/2 years. He is a school counselor and a volunteer for the Red Cross. They say he is doing well, and they have high hopes that the kidney will take.

Two corneas were placed; one with a 27 year old woman and the other with an older man. Both had lost their eyesight due to an untreatable eye disease.

Two heart valves were placed and the recipients are doing well.

The bone contribution could improve the lives of up to 50 different people. They use them for bone grafts for reconstructive surgery to correct certain defects. The skin tissue goes towards grafts for people with extensive wounds or burns.

All in all, Mark could be helping hundreds of people lead improved lives. I hope that gives you all some comfort, I know it has for me.

Thank you all for your cards, thoughts, prayers, phone calls, visits - the list goes on and on. I can't thank you enough for the support - I never would have made it through the first three weeks without some of you! I will continue to update this as I hear news.

Please remember how Mark would want us all to live, and make the most of every day!